STOP REPLAYING THE PAST

STOP REPLAYING THE PAST

As I begin at long last—age 54—to feel as though I’m finding my authentic voice, releasing the truths in me & ones I’m learning in the process, I find myself drawn to becoming greater in the electrical business, in striving for excellence, growth, productivity, & wealth there. [I’m considering buying a retiring electrician’s business as part of that process, aiming to expand into bigger commercial work. At the same time, I’m connecting with others who have similar views in cooperating in their work & involving them in mine, aiming for mutual profitability and maximized productivity.]

As I was thinking & meditating on this path, I wondered, “Why did I resist this so long? Why did I not latch onto this when I first got my contractor’s license 28 years ago (1978)? For fully 11 years after that, I wouldn’t even do “side jobs”—I really didn’t want that burden, that responsibility—yet in 1989 I found myself doing that & enjoying the customer relations, the interaction, the problem-solving/ troubleshooting challenges—enjoying it immensely—so much that I went full-time into business in 1993. Yet why the up & down over these past 17 years, even to the point of actually trying to give it up and shut it down several times?

Then I felt the Lord gently rebuking me: “Son, stop replaying the past! You are where you are, & that’s all that matters in terms of eternity!” And the picture I had was of flying from LAX (Los Angeles, CA) to JFK (New York City, NY) & somehow finding myself standing at the North Pole–& not even having “flown” there directly, but maybe even through a misguided Iditarod race!—and then having to learn to re-focus and say, “OK, let’s forget about trying to figure out how I got here—the important question right now is, ‘How do I get to JFK the quickest, most direct route?’” And then getting on with it!

How much time & energy do we spend re-visiting past mistakes, wondering how the present (which was at that time in the past still only a “possible future”) “might” have turned out differently? Yes, we need to learn lessons from the past, but really only as they have direct bearing on our present journey & its direction.

Brian Johnson has a son titled “We Believe,” with the opening lines, “You reveal Your secrets & all Your mysteries/ To those who have fallen completely in love w/ You.” Those secrets & mysteries include my mistakes, my missed marks, my “miss”-guided directions, & my present situation—all in one glorious tapestry of which (as Corrie ten Boom used to illustrate) I presently see only the knotted, un-discernable “mess” of the underside & not [“knot”?] the awe-inspiring masterpiece the Master is truly weaving in me….It takes revealing (“revelation”) for me to see the true beauty of where I am in relation to where I’ve come from.

Lance Wallnau, in his teachings on “The Mountain Strategy,” begins by saying. “You can’t know where you’re going until you know where you’ve come from.” Maybe I’m finally starting to see where I’ve really come from enough get on with where I’m going, to stop replaying the past…

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